Have you faced a relationship where someone had it out for you? In 1 Samuel 18 we see the success of David, the jealousy of King Saul, and the tension that results…but amidst the tension, God was working out a greater plan. Join us as we continue our Spiritual Snapshots in Samuel series with Dr. Marty Baker.
To establish friendships at my last church, a denominational plant, Liz and I had game nights at our home, or we, at least, encouraged others to schedule them. Talk about a great way to get to know people. Another thing we did was to invite people to our home on Fridays and Saturdays for dinner and fellowship. Each weekend, the people who joined us rotated, but at times we would have our core friends over more often than not.
At one point, the wife of one of our core couples suddenly went off the emotional rails. She confronted Liz with the damaging data that bothered her. She drove by our home on Fridays and Saturdays for weeks to see whose cars were parked in our driveway and made a notation. Once she realized that some couples were invited into our home more often than she and her husband, she piously pounced on Liz, “How dare you not invite us over more often. How dare you invite (let’s call them, the Johnsons) over several times back-to-back when you don’t do that for us.” Nothing Liz said, no logical argument she employed, calmed the woman’s holy hysteria. Not long thereafter, this core couple left the church in a holy huff.
What had just happened? That’s what we asked ourselves. Why did it happen arose as a natural follow-up question. This lady, I’ll call Christy, had an issue with jealousy and envy, two terrible, very powerful, and destructive sins. What’s the difference between the two? Jealousy refers to how you feel when someone threatens to take something you enjoy and love away from you. In this case, Christy was jealous that other core people were causing her to become less core. Envy, conversely, speaks of the driving, insatiable desire for something someone else possesses. In this scenario, Christy struggled with raging envy at those core friends who were developing a closer relationship with the pastor and his wife than she had.
Jealousy and envy are such destructive sins. James, our Lord’s brother, wrote candidly about them in his epistle:
14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. (James 3)
It’s true. Where you find jealousy and its twin, envy, you encounter chaos and disorder in relationships. Folks who gain victory over these sins enjoy peaceful, gentle, logically reasonable, merciful, and non-hypocritical lives. Do you struggle with these sins?
King Saul did, and they slowly and surely destroyed him like an unchecked ravenous cancer in his soul. If they are destroying you along with relationships around you, I think it is time to address them with God’s help. Unfortunately, that is not what King Saul did. He nursed his jealousy and envy of David after his valiant victory over Goliath, and sadly, this failure on his part destroyed him in due time. Don’t let that happen to you by learning from the rich spiritual truths we encounter that are embedded in 1 Samuel 18.
The powerful passage begins with what I will classify as . . .
The Unification (1 Sam. 18:1-5)
Sometime after David’s shocking single-handed defeat of mighty Goliath, the author introduces us to what transpired next:
1 Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself. 2 And Saul took him that day and did not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. (1 Sam. 18)
Since a young man couldn’t fight in the army until they were at least twenty years old (Num. 1:3), Jonathan had to be several years older than David because he had already fought Israel’s battles for several years. What did the seasoned, battle-hardened, fierce, and faithful royal warrior see in David? He saw lofty traits that governed his life: the will to take on a superior force with an inferior one (1 Sam. 13:3; 14:1-6), and the belief that “nothing restrains the LORD from saving by many or by few (1 Sam. 14:6). Based on these traits, Jonathan not only saw in David a kindred spirit, but he forged a covenant with him, one that called for, I’m sure, each man to protect the other man’s back in battle.
What, additionally, was the motivating reason Jonathan knit his soul with David’s? The Hebrew word for “knit,” qa’shar (קָשַׁר), literally denotes tying two ropes together to create greater strength (Gen. 38:28). Jonathan, who was next in line to be the King of Israel, allied his life with that of David because he loved him.
Unfortunately, we must stop and briefly unpack this statement because the LGBTQI+ community pollutes everything they touch. They erroneously use this statement to argue that David and Jonathan enjoyed a homosexual relationship. What blasphemy. The Expositor’s Bible Commentary offers a powerful and biblical retort to the homosexual interpretation:
Tom Horner (Jonathan Loved David: Homosexuality in Biblical Times [Philadelphia: Westminster, 1978]) asserts that the relationship between David and Jonathan was homosexual (cf. esp. pp. 20, 26–28, 31–39). But the verb ʾāhēḇ (“love”) is not used elsewhere to express homosexual desire or activity, for which the OT employs yāḏaʿ (“know”), in the sense of “have sex with” (Gen 19:5; Judg 19:22). The latter verb is never used of David’s relationship with Jonathan.[1]
I couldn’t agree more. Can a man not love another man without it being sexual? Indeed. Therefore, David and Jonathan loved each other as friends because they had so much in common.
Jonathan so admired David that he made a jaw-dropping move as the king’s son:
4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt. (1 Sam. 18)
By giving his royal robe and weapons to David, Jonathan submitted to the fact that God had anointed David, not him, as Israel’s next king. What a selfless, mature gesture. It reminds me of John the Baptist, whom Jesus said was the greatest man who ever lived (Matt. 11:11). Speaking of how Christ was so much more important than him, he selflessly stated: “30 He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3). While most men would do everything in their power to stay in power, John realized he must step aside at the summit of his eventual and productive career to permit Christ to ascend to complete His redemptive/kingdom mission. What humility. Jonathan evidenced that type of humility long before John walked the planet. Do you possess it?
Armed with the royal robe and weapons, the author reveals how David acted, therefore, as the real king of Israel:
5 So David went out wherever Saul sent him, and prospered; and Saul set him over the men of war. And it was pleasing in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants. (1 Sam. 18)
Keep this in mind. As you live with a fierce faith in God, God, in turn, will go before you to give you victories and blessings even when you are opposed by those who should support you. Throughout this passage, we will encounter this timeless motif (1 Sam. 18:14-15, 27-30). Let it sink deep into your soul because just when you thought life was going well and couldn’t be better, you might be blindsided by a friend who suddenly becomes a foe for all the wrong reasons. That’s what happened between David and Saul. A great moment of unification was quickly followed by what I label . . .
The Deterioration (1 Sam. 6-30)
Verses 1 through 5 ended on a high note, but it didn’t last because King Saul, who possessed low self-esteem and loved power, prestige, and control above the will of God, wilfully chose to let his feelings of jealousy and envy get the best of him. And it all happened, as it usually does, with a seemingly innocent situation.
6 And it happened as they were coming, when David returned from killing the Philistine, that the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy and with musical instruments. (1 Sam. 18)
What happened? Answer? The willful destruction of King Saul’s relationship with Israel’s true king, David. As typically occurred when soldiers returned from successful military campaigns, the women came out to sing songs to the victors (Ex. 15:20; Judges 11:34; Jer. 31:4).
7 And the women sang as they played, and said, “Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands.” (1 Sam. 18)
The melodic song is an illustration of paronomasia where similar endings of words make a staement easy to listen to and memorize:
7 וַֽתַּעֲנֶ֛ינָה הַנָּשִׁ֥ים הַֽמְשַׂחֲק֖וֹת וַתֹּאמַ֑רְןָ הִכָּ֤ה שָׁאוּל֙ (בְּאֲלָפָו) [בַּאֲלָפָ֔יו] וְדָוִ֖ד בְּרִבְבֹתָֽיו׃
The hyperbolic song was true insofar as it praised King Saul for being an effective soldier and David for being more skilled because he took out Goliath with one shot from a small slingshot. Yet, this data point triggered old King Saul. He wanted to be seen and praised as Israel’s premier and powerful soldier. He didn’t want to share that with anyone else, so this song instantly ignited his jealousy and envy of David.
8 Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?” (1 Sam. 18)
King Saul became insanely jealous because he saw in David one who could take his power and throne from him, and because the young man was superior as a warrior and leader. Envy becomes a corrosive force when he hears this song because he wants David’s notoriety and battlefield prowess. I don’t know if you have figured this out, but there is always someone more intelligent, more skilled, more muscular, quicker, and more gifted than you. The sooner you realize it, the easier it will be for you to live a jealousy/envy-free life.
My senior year in college, the school assigned two sophomores to room with me in a modular on campus. Coming into the unit one afternoon, I encountered an old upright piano that one of the new roommates brought with him. “Awesome,” I thought. I sat down and started playing the fast Mozart piece. When I finished, I went into my room and closed the door. Within a few minutes, I heard the same piece played twice as fast as I had played it. Opening the door, I couldn’t believe how fast my new roommate, Bob, effortlessly moved his small hands up and down the keyboard. Looking at me, he said, “Marty, how many years did you take lessons?” I sheepishly said, “Ten.” I then asked him, “How many years have you studied? His reply floored me, “Three.” At that point, I learned that Bob was a child prodigy and a concert pianist. I could have practiced ten more years and never come close to his ability because he just had a gift. So, I bowed before his prowess on the piano. Never think you are all that and a bag of chips. You aren’t. There is always someone way beyond you. So, realize this truth, step aside, and let God use them beyond how He has used you.
Saul didn’t do this even though God had told him twice through the prophet Samuel that his repeated rebellious ways cost him the throne and a lasting regal dynasty (1 Sam. 13:14; 15:26). The old adage is true: Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Even when God told the politician his days were numbered, that selfish, self-centered, power-hungry, and praise-hungry man, Saul, just wouldn’t step aside. He’d rather step on the object of his jealousy and envy, David.
Verse 9 informs us what happened next:
9 And Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on. (1 Sam. 18)
Once jealousy and envy were triggered in King Saul’s life, he read everything David did through these distorted, dangerous lenses. And like a powerful, swirling whirlpool grabs a toy boat at its perimeter and then draws it toward the center to suck it down to its destruction, jealousy and envy slowly and surely caused havoc in King Saul’s sad, small, insignificant life.
Is jealousy and envy destroying you and the relationships around you? Has something you heard or watched triggered you? Did someone make a higher rank you thought shouldn’t when you didn’t? Did someone you thought was less talented get published when you’ve written far more in your career? Did someone’s idea as a new staff person get put front and center by the boss almost instantly, when your ideas had never really gained much traction? Please identify the trigger and give this situation to God so you are used to Him and not sidelined.
If you don’t get control, pay attention to what typically occurs. Watch how King Saul’s jealousy and envy went from bad to worse in the ensuing verses:
10 Now it came about on the next day that an evil spirit from God came mightily upon Saul, and he raved in the midst of the house, while David was playing the harp with his hand, as usual; and a spear was in Saul’s hand. 11 And Saul hurled the spear for he thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” But David escaped from his presence twice. 12 Now Saul was afraid of David, for the LORD was with him but had departed from Saul. (1 Sam. 18)
Because King Saul would not humble himself before God’s will, because he would not embrace the discipline of God for his outright rebellious ways, God not only removed His powerful Spirit from his life, but He permitted a demonic spirit to plague him. Before this, King Saul enjoyed, as Job did (Job 1), a protective hedge from God; however, his sinful ways caused God to step back and permit the demonic spirit to attack the mind that had been so instrumental in walking away from God’s intended will. A man does eventually sow what he reaps.
For some reason, David’s harp playing helped soothe King Saul’s mental and spiritual anguish. Music does have a unique way of calming a person, and David used his talent to help the king; however, the king’s jealousy and envy, coupled with a deep-seated paranoia of David’s abilities, caused the king to explode in a murderous rage. Twice he tried to kill David with a sharp spear, and twice David had adroitly dodged the deadly projectile. Sad. King Saul’s jealousy and envy moved him from resenting David to desiring his death; however, even these attempts failed because God was with David, which meant He was not with Saul.
Realizing he couldn’t take David out with a spear, King Saul did the next best thing: He removed David from his presence so he wouldn’t be triggered by him:
13 Therefore Saul removed him from his presence, and appointed him as his commander of a thousand; and he went out and came in before the people. (1 Sam. 18)
I’m sure, based on what we read later in this passage, that King Saul’s reasoning amounted to this: “I’ll put this young warrior as a leader of a thousand soldiers and eventually he’ll die in battle, and at that point, I’ll be free to live and let live as I see fit.” It didn’t work. Godless, sinful plans against God’s people never work:
14 And David was prospering in all his ways for the LORD was with him. 15 When Saul saw that he was prospering greatly, he dreaded him. 16 But all Israel and Judah loved David, and he went out and came in before them. (1 Sam. 18)
Plan number two failed miserably. Instead of getting David killed, David won military victories, resulting in the people loving him even more than before. Saul couldn’t believe it. His best plans to eliminate his regal competition did a face plant like old Goliath before David.
Unchecked jealousy and envy drove King Saul to devise new ways to seek to cancel David, God’s anointed.
17 Then Saul said to David, “Here is my older daughter Merab; I will give her to you as a wife, only be a valiant man for me and fight the LORD’s battles.” For Saul thought, “My hand shall not be against him, but let the hand of the Philistines be against him.” (1 Sam. 18)
The text doesn’t mention it, but since David, a poor man, didn’t have the dowry to pay for a king’s daughter, Saul probably wanted David to fight in a specified number of military campaigns against the Philistines, and then he would give him his oldest daughter as his wife. Of course, Saul’s sinister thinking, brought about by his insatiable and illogical jealousy and envy, merely considered battle stats: the more battles David fights, the greater the probability a Philistine will kill him.
The plan, however, didn’t fly with humble David:
18 But David said to Saul, “Who am I, and what is my life or my father’s family in Israel, that I should be the king’s son-in-law?” (1 Sam. 18)
At this point, David passed on the offer because he felt unqualified to marry Saul’s oldest daughter. I’m confident David started to wise up, too: “Since my potential father-in-law tried to take me out with a spear, I wonder what the crafty old man is really up to?” Could David have also passed on Merab because she just wasn’t his type? Possibly.
Realizing that David would not fall for Merab, King Saul married her off to another man:
19 So it came about at the time when Merab, Saul’s daughter, should have been given to David, that she was given to Adriel the Meholathite for a wife. (1 Sam. 18)
The door closed on this scheme, but then another one conveniently opened:
20 Now Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved David. When they told Saul, the thing was agreeable to him. 21 And Saul thought, “I will give her to him that she may become a snare to him, and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.” (1 Sam. 18)
Do you see how corrosive jealousy and envy are? They inspired Saul to think and do dreadful things. In this instance, Saul was willing to use his daughters as a ploy to get David killed. Wow, what a future father-in-law. Saul’s plans regarding his second daughter, Michal, couldn’t be clearer. He wanted the promise of marriage to place David on a battlefield so he would get killed. How so? Keep reading.
21 Therefore Saul said to David, “For a second time you may be my son-in-law today.” 22 Then Saul commanded his servants, “Speak to David secretly, saying, ‘Behold, the king delights in you, and all his servants love you; now therefore, become the king’s son-in-law.'” (1 Sam. 18)
This second secret proposal was cleverly designed to appeal to David’s baser, carnal desire to seek power because of the love and adoration of the people, especially those in the king’s court. The thinking is clear: If the king’s court respected David, David could easily become a political force to be reckoned with.
Armed with this new proposal angle, the servants of Saul headed out
23 So Saul’s servants spoke these words to David. (1 Sam. 18)
How did David respond to proposal number two? Read on:
But David said, “Is it trivial in your sight to become the king’s son-in-law, since I am a poor man and lightly esteemed?” (1 Sam. 18)
Basically, David said, “This is a wonderful proposal; however, I am a poor man, so there is no way I could scrape together enough shekels to pay the hefty dowry for Michal.” This statement made a small opening for King Saul to walk through.
The ensuing verses tell us how King Saul sought to exploit the proposal to his regal advantage:
24 And the servants of Saul reported to him according to these words which David spoke. 25 Saul then said, “Thus you shall say to David, ‘The king does not desire any dowry except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to take vengeance on the king’s enemies.'” Now Saul planned to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. (1 Sam. 18)
King Saul’s jealousy and envy are on full display here. Once again, they moved him to hide his impure, hateful, and deadly motive. He didn’t want David to marry Michal. He wanted David killed by a Philistine sword, spear, or arrow. At this point, we must pause and ask the obvious question: What is your jealousy and envy motivating you to do? Be ashamed of where it leads you, confess it to the Lord, and ask for strength to be content, as Paul was, with your lot in life (Phil. 4:11).
In what appears to be a weak moment, David finally caved:
26 When his servants told David these words, it pleased David to become the king’s son-in-law. Before the days had expired 27 David rose up and went, he and his men, and struck down two hundred men among the Philistines. Then David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. So Saul gave him Michal his daughter for a wife. (1 Sam. 18)
He didn’t just kill 100 Philistine soldiers and cut off their foreskins; he doubled the number, and he didn’t die. Why didn’t he die? Because the Lord was with him despite what Saul’s out-of-control jealousy devised against him.
Looking at this jaw-dropping feat led wicked King Saul to one logical conclusion:
28 When Saul saw and knew that the LORD was with David, and that Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved him, 29 then Saul was even more afraid of David. (1 Sam. 18)
Saul knew from this unbelievable dowry payment that God was with David, pure and simple. That fact, however, did nothing to quell his jealousy and envy. On the contrary, Saul merely turned up the illogical, unfounded heat:
29 Thus Saul was David’s enemy continually. (1 Sam. 18)
From the closing verse, it is clear that Saul made sure David, his best warrior, led many troops into battle. His pernicious plan was always in play, too. What was that? To get David killed so he wouldn’t be a threat to the throne of Saul any longer. Because the Lord went before David, this plan also didn’t fare any better than the other ones:
30 Then the commanders of the Philistines went out to battle, and it happened as often as they went out, that David behaved himself more wisely than all the servants of Saul. So his name was highly esteemed. (1 Sam. 18)
Victory after victory didn’t eliminate David. On the contrary, they elevated the future king of Israel. And from this, we encounter what I believe is the central motif of the passage. While the passage speaks about the danger of jealousy and envy, that is not the main thrust in my view. Here is what the Spirit wants us always to remember:
When jealousy and envy move someone to bring you down,
God providentially works to build you up and bless you.
Right now, you may be the object of a jealous, envious type who is flaunting and misusing their power. Right now, you might be discouraged because it seems that at every turn, this person has it out for you. Right now, you might be wondering why the way is so hard. I’m sure David had those moments. After all, since he was the next anointed king, why did he have to endure so many difficult, dangerous, and demeaning days before he wound up where God wanted him? The answer is simple: God uses tough times with carnal, small-minded, selfish people to shape and hone your soul for a greater work, so hold on like David did.
Also, for those who struggle with jealousy and envy, as Saul did, I’m here today to say that you can find forgiveness and freedom at the feet of Jesus, the Christ. God has spoken to you through this message, and now it is time for you to speak with Him.
[1] Ronald F. Youngblood, “1, 2 Samuel,” in The Expositor’s Bible Commentary: Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 & 2 Samuel, ed. Frank E. Gaebelein, vol. 3 (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1992), 706.
