Bear With One Another

As we conclude our “One Another” sermon series we take a look at what it means to come along side others during tough times and help carry their load. Pastor Marty Baker discusses the difference bearing others burdens makes and also touches on the importance of confessing sin to one another.

Talking with a pastoral friend who had recently lost his job in San Francisco, I asked him, “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” I couldn’t believe what he told me.

He replied, “The church had large throne-like chairs on the podium for pastors to sit on during the worship service. They were red velvet with white wood and quite massive. After a few Sundays, I decided to remove them because they took up too much room, and I didn’t think pastors needed to be seated like kings on the stage.”

“What happened when you did that?” I asked.

“Well, an older lady, who happened to be one of the charter members of the church, came down the central aisle one Sunday morning to find her customary seat near the front. Looking up, she gasped and let out a blood-curdling scream, “My Lord, my Lord, they have gone and removed the pastoral chairs!” Not long after that, she had the chairs replaced and the pastor removed.

As you think about that true story, you have to ask yourself: Was this a healthy or an unhealthy church? Mature disciples of Christ have no problem answering that question. This legalistic rule, which basically said, Thou Shalt Not Remove The Pastoral Chairs, showed how immature and unhealthy the church was at that time.

Sadly, this kind of story is quite normative in churches. Saints who think they are mature hold to legalistic rules and regulations (and traditions) they have created, and God help the pastor or person who dares challenge or change them. The result of this kind of high-minded attitude is a sick church body that knows nothing about joy (John 10:10), grace, mercy, and love.

How do you fix a church like this, or saints who behave in this manner? Better yet, how do we guard our true biblical maturity so we don’t ever descend to this unhealthy, destructive level? You collectively remain deeply committed to knowing and observing the fifty “one-another” commands given to us in the New Testament. Please permit me to stress this one more time. It is not enough to know the commands. You must measure your life against them and make course corrections.

In our quest to head in this healthy direction, I present our homiletical question again to you:

What Is The Recipe For Church Health?

Answer? As I said, we know and obey the “one another” commands consistently. Think of them as a laser level you constantly measure your life against. So far, we’ve covered seven. As I’ve said, the first one is foundational to the rest. If you have divine agape love for saints, you will naturally be positioned and empowered to fulfill the other mandates.

• Be Loving Toward One Another
• Be Devoted To One Another (Rom. 12:10)
• Be Accepting of One Another (Rom. 15:7)
• Be Hospitable With One Another (1 Pet. 4:9)
• Be Of One Mind With One Another (Rom. 12:16)
• Be Kind To One Another (Eph. 4:32)
• Be Forgiving Of One Another (Eph. 4:32)

How are you faring with implementing these? What does the laser level say regarding any one command? Are you on target, or is there room for improvement? When you improve a disciple of Christ, you mature. May this be the direction we are all headed in.

To our list of commands, we add two more in this study.

Bear On Another’s Burdens (Gal. 6:2)

Here is how this command comes across in the NAS:

NAS Galatians 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ.

The NIV uses more precise language for Westerners.

NIV Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

For those attending Dallas Theological Seminary on our campus, here is the Greek.

BGT Galatians 6:2 Ἀλλήλων τὰ βάρη βαστάζετε καὶ οὕτως ἀναπληρώσετε τὸν νόμον τοῦ Χριστοῦ.

In Greek, “burden” comes from varos (βάρος). Friberg’s Analytical Greek Lexicon gives us the word’s various nuances:

βάρος, ους, τό literally burden, weight; figuratively in the NT; (1) burden, hardship with the meaning suiting the context; (daily) toil (MT 20.12); oppressive suffering (GA 6.2); difficult duty (RV 2.24); (2) as a large amount, weight, great extent (2C 4.17); ἐν βάρει εἶναι literally be in weight may mean either insist on one’s importance, claim high status or make demands (1TH 2.7).

Varos points to a heavy weight someone is carrying. Think of a soldier with an 80-pound backpack, and you have the meaning in your mind. Of course, it is physical, first and foremost; however, it does apply to all sorts of weights. Applied to people, the weight can be a variety of things:

• Psychological weight. Depression, anxiety, fear, disillusionment, discouragement, etc. You’re going through a nasty divorce with a bitter, vindictive husband/wife, and you are worried sick that you won’t be able to live once the dust settles.
• Financial weight. Dodge cuts cost you your great job, and now you are out looking for another one, all while your emergency funds are being quickly depleted.
• Relational weight. Every time your military husband goes TDY, you feel relieved that you can finally emotionally rest. When he’s around, his legalistic, controlling ways cause you to walk around, along with the children, on proverbial eggshells.
• Employment weight. You work in a pressure cooker environment with a demanding, rude, unsympathetic, somewhat demeaning boss, and you don’t feel like you can breathe.
• Addictive weight. You drank socially in college to fit in, plus you enjoyed it. But once your introduction to Bourbon several years ago had spun out of control. No one else knows, but you live for the next costly bottle.

I could easily add more “weights” to this list, but I think you get the point. Some saints carry heavy loads at various times in their lives, and some have them their entire lives.

What should happen when a load-laden saint shows up at church? They realize they are not alone, for others have carried a similar load and have made it. Of course, the Devil always wants you to think you’re alone with the weight you carry. For believers, such is not the case. We who know this particular kind of load are challenged to come alongside the person and do what we can to help lighten it for them. And even if you are unfamiliar with the weight they carry, love and compassion for the saint should move you to be their loyal battle buddy.

Pull up alongside them and say, “What can I do to help you with your burden? Give me the word, and I’ll make it happen.” Here’s one story of how to make this happen. When one of our parishioners broke her neck in an unfortunate accident at the gym a few years back, she wasn’t able to even get into her rental home because of the steps. Some of our men solved this issue, which they’ve done so many times, by building a large wooden ramp to assist our sister.

The point is well-taken. When you see someone with a heavy load, you do something about it. If it is a wife who has lost her husband for fifty years, you make sure she isn’t alone very much. You plan times to be with her because you know what it’s like to lose a husband. You pray with and for her, you invite her to social functions, you get her involved in a grief share group, you call and text her, you make sure she isn’t alone for special holidays, and so forth. Again, we have saints who know how to live like this. May their tribe increase.

Paul’s command here is quite clear. The verb for “bearing” burdens is a present imperative in the inspired Greek text. The imperative tells us this is a command, not a suggestion, so don’t shrug it off or pass the responsibility to someone else. Further, the present tense reminds us that this command is a perpetual, ongoing thing. Daily, you should search for members of the body who are carrying heavy loads, and then determine what you can do to alleviate the load. Here’s a question that needs asking: “When’s the last time you helped another saint in this body carry a back-breaking burden?” When you do this, when you step forward, you instantly fulfill what Paul calls “the law of Christ.” What is His law? It is the second greatest commandment to love your neighbor as yourself. So, just as you would welcome a loving, kind, and strong friend to help you with a heavy load in your life, you should be toward them without question.

By way of biblical illustration, consider how Onesiphorus traveled multiple times from Ephesus in Asia Minor to be with Paul, who was chained in a Roman cell in Rome awaiting execution under Nero. Writing to Pastor Timothy, pay careful attention to Paul’s words about this kind, loving, and loyal saint, Onesiphorus.

¹⁵ You are aware of the fact that all who are in Asia turned away from me, among whom are Phygelus and Hermogenes. ¹⁶ The Lord grant mercy to the house of Onesiphorus for he often refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chains; ¹⁷ but when he was in Rome, he eagerly searched for me, and found me– ¹⁸ the Lord grant to him to find mercy from the Lord on that day– and you know very well what services he rendered at Ephesus. (2 Tim. 1)

If you’ve ever been deserted by fellow Christians when you faced a hard time in your life, you can identify with the emotional pain Paul details here. I, too, thoroughly understand it, for I’ve had numerous believers desert Liz and me over the years during tough times. It’s shocking when it happens because you don’t expect it, but it’s just a sad reality because some believers are immature, don’t know what to say, or are simply thoughtless. I’m sure Phygelus and Hermogenes didn’t want to risk their own arrest for visiting Paul in prison, so they decided to let him suffer alone. How tragic. How spiritually shallow.

Onesiphorus was made of finer stuff. He “often” refreshed prisoner Paul. How did he refresh him? By his mere presence. Two are better than one, as the writer of Ecclesiastes surmises (Ecc. 4:9). We would say, there is strength in numbers. He refreshed Paul by the risk he took being there in that dark, dank cell. The fact that he would do this demonstrated his love for the premier and faithful pastor, who had been there for so many others in tough times. I’m sure his recitation of Scripture put wind in Paul’s sails, and don’t you know his prayers lifted Paul to a higher spiritual place. I’m sure they sang a song or two, as well. What song would you sing to a saint in this situation? Here’s one to prime your pump:

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still
And with all who will trust and obey

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey

Author: John H. Sammis (1887)

Let a saint with a strange, hard-to-pronounce name be a model for you when it comes to helping other saints bear life’s burdens. He went out of his way at high personal cost to stand alongside a burdened brother as he faced death itself. Perhaps it’s time for you to go out of your way to do the same for someone you know who can hardly take another step in life because of the amount of rocks in their rucksack. Many in our body don’t just know this particular command; they step up and become Onesiphorus. May you join them so that no saint suffers alone, and so that suffering saints are encouraged.

A ninth command worth considering is articulated by our Lord’s half-brother, James:

Confess Your Sins To One Another (James 5:16)

This is one of those commands that’s easy to say, but hard to do because we are all so human:

¹⁶ Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. (James 5:16)

The Greek sheds a little more light on this directive:

James 5:16 ἐξομολογεῖσθε οὖν ἀλλήλοις τὰς ἁμαρτίας καὶ εὔχεσθε ὑπὲρ ἀλλήλων, ὅπως ἰαθῆτε. πολὺ ἰσχύει δέησις δικαίου ἐνεργουμένη. (Jas. 5:16)

The word James employs here for confession is composed of the preposition, ek (ἐξ, the xi alphabetical letter, or ξ, actually is the traditional “k,” or kappa, before a vowel . . . just in case you’re interested), wedded to the verb homologeo (ὁμολογέω). The Greek grammarian, Benjamin Chapman, notes the significance of this “stapling” in his book New Testament Greek Notebook:

Several prepositions intensify the root component in compound words: this is called the perfective use of the preposition.[1]

Translated, the addition of the preposition makes the verb highly emphatic. So, what does the word confess mean in Greek? Danker’s Greek-English Lexicon provides the answer with its third entry:

③ to concede that something is factual or true, grant, admit, confess (Just., D. 80, 1 admission of someth. in an argument; sim. 110, 1)

ⓐ gener., to admit the truth of someth. (Pla., Prot. 317b ὁμολογῶ σοφιστὴς εἶναι; Jos., Ant. 3, 322 an admission of factuality by enemies; Just., D. 2, 5 ὡμολόγησα μὴ εἰδέναι admission of ignorance) agree, admit καθάπερ καὶ αὐτὸς ὡμολόγησας Dg 2:1. ὁμολογήσαντες ὅτι ξένοι εἰσίν admitting that they were (only) foreigners Hb 11:13. ὁμολογοῦμεν χάριν μὴ εἰληφέναι we admit that we have not received grace IMg 8:1. For Ac 23:8 s. 2 above.

ⓑ w. a judicial connotation: make a confession, confess abs. MPol 6:1; 9:2. τί τινι: ὁμολογῶ δὲ τοῦτό σοι, ὅτι Ac 24:14. Foll. by acc. and inf. ὡμολόγησεν ἑαυτὸν Χριστιανὸν εἶναι MPol 12:1 (cp. w. inf. foll.: Just., A II, 13, 2 Χριστιανὸς εὑρεθῆναι … ὁμολογῶ; Theoph. Ant. 2, 8 [p. 118, 7] ὁμ. αὐτὰ τὰ πλάνα πνεύματα εἶναι δαίμονες). Cp. John the Baptist’s action in reply to questioning by the authorities καὶ ὡμολόγησεν καὶ οὐκ ἠρνήσατο καὶ ὡμολόγησεν ὅτι (dir. disc. follows) J 1:20^[2]

Since this verb is wedded to a preposition, James commands believers to be super committed to saying that a given activity you’ve engaged in is nothing short of sin. You are not supposed to duck and cover when you sin; you aren’t supposed to devise rationalizations to cover your tenuous tracks. Still, you are supposed to do everything in your power to come clean, to admit that your life actions at this juncture were, in fact, sin because they deviated from God’s desire for His disciples.

So, what about it? Do you quickly rush to confess your sin to other saints? Do you even recognize when you’ve sinned against another saint? I hope so. Why should we live confessional lives with each other? Let’s count the reasons:

• It is the command of God. We could stop there, but we can’t because there is so much more we need to remember.
• It lets believers know how to pray precisely for you.
• It keeps your pride and hubris in check. Honestly, you are not all that and a bag of chips.
• It reminds you that you are human and are far from perfect.
• It keeps your spiritual and mental slate clean, so you don’t live with guilt.
• It strengthens relationships that your sin has probably negatively impacted.
• It keeps you from sinning more because it is now in the light. Oh, you’re an alcoholic. I had no idea. Oh, you’re addicted to sweets. Oh, you hide them all over your house. Darkness doesn’t like the light of confession because exposure makes it harder to engage in darkness. Got any secret sins that are causing you shame, any sin or sins that desperately need to come out into the light?
• It strengthens the Christian community because we are living authentically, not basking in the sunshine of fakeness.
• It keeps the contagion of sin at bay.

Watch how the great church in Ephesus dealt with their sin when they became believers:

¹⁸ Many also of those who had believed kept coming, confessing and disclosing their practices. ¹⁹ And many of those who practiced magic brought their books together and began burning them in the sight of all; and they counted up the price of them and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. ²⁰ So the word of the Lord was growing mightily and prevailing. (Acts 19)

The word “disclosing” suggests that many saints engaged in the work of witchcraft without letting on that they did. The Spirit of God, however, convicted them of their evil deeds, prompting them to come clean before other saints. Dr. Darrell Bock, a Greek scholar at Dallas Theological Seminary, who has also spoken here before, illuminates this passage with this statement in his commentary on Acts:

19:18–19 The believers recognize that syncretism with magic is not a good thing, and so they confess and divulge their practices, turning from their past ways. In this context, the term πράξεις (praxeis) means “magic spells” or “magical acts”; normally it simply means “deeds” (MM 533; PGM 4.1227; Maurer, TDNT 6:644; Barrett 1998: 912). Their divulging of spells is important, as one of the keys to magic is the secrecy and mystery behind the spells. Once made public, the spell is perceived to be impotent. The fact that this becomes evident to those who already believe shows their growing maturity in the faith. They did not appreciate this when they initially responded to Jesus, but now they see it. So they did not give up the practice first and then become Christians. Rather, in their maturing walk with God, they came to renounce the practice, no doubt through the spiritual guidance and enablement that the gift of the Spirit brought. These believers are described through the use of a perfect-tense participle here (τῶν πεπιστευκότων, tōn pepisteukotōn, those who have believed), highlighting the enduring nature of their faith (Bruce 1990: 412).

The second step is the public burning of magic books worth a large sum of money, fifty thousand pieces of silver. This rejection of magic and the burning of these manuals are significant public statements of a change in direction in life. If the silver refers to denarii, then fifty thousand of them would equal a single worker’s wages for 137 years without a day off, since a denarius was an average worker’s wage for a day.^[3]

God’s Word says that witchcraft is evil; these saints were engaged in it, and in due time, they came clean by agreeing with God in public confession with each other. This is one way to approach confession. All of this makes us wonder, if you were to publicly approach the front of the church right now and confess what you’ve been doing that is sinful, what would you say, or what items would you bring that you need to break free from? It would probably be intangible and tangible things, wouldn’t it?

• Lord, I confess my sexual sin. I have not been faithful to my husband.
• Lord, I confess my penchant for being a very clever liar.
• Lord, I confess that I have, at times, taken advantage of my place of employment and stolen items I know they won’t miss, given how much is in merchandise.
• Lord, here is a bottle that gets me in all kinds of trouble.
• Lord, here is a horoscope I’ve used as a crutch for far too long.
• Lord, here is the address of an online person involved in the occult, whom I contact for much-needed wisdom and direction.

Yeah, I wonder what we would bring, or what we need to bring to confess? And would it be a radical severance? These saints made an extreme financial sacrifice when they came clean? We should do the same.

Why don’t we? Again, let me count the reasons why we drag our feet with confession:

• Some are arrogant and don’t think they have done much sin.
• Some don’t want to appear weak or sinful.
• Some want to appear super-spiritual. Get over it. The super-spiritual lead lives of humble, honest confession.
• Some don’t want people to think they actually have leakage in their life. You are human, so it is okay to say so.
• Some fear the info they share will be used against them. Then be careful who you confess your sins to.
• Some don’t want to feel humiliated.

To me, it sounds like some saints don’t want to mature as Christ’s disciples or find healing. Note that James says that confessional living brings healing. Think of a son who has caused his parents much grief growing up. Supposedly, he trusted Jesus as his Savior as a child, but once he hit his teenage years, he started going off the proverbial rails. His parents said, “Don’t do this,” and he defiantly did it anyway. They said he needed to change friends, but he got more of the same seedy buddies. Everything about his life had degenerated into arguing with his parents, but then, all of a sudden, the Holy Spirit broke through to his heart. Under conviction, he came to his parents and said, “Mom and Dad, I am so sorry for how I’ve treated you over the last couple of years. Can you forgive me?” Just imagine the healing that would come to that relationship at that precise moment of confession.

Imagine if a Christian husband who had spent years ignoring his wife, calling her terrible names, degrading her at every corner, and failing to be the spiritual leader in the home, despite his outer fake façade, came to her and said, “Honey, I have been wrong for so long. I have no one to blame but myself. I am ashamed of how I’ve treated you. It is nothing short of sinful, and I come today to confess it to you and seek your forgiveness. Will you forgive me?” Imagine the health that would sweep over that mangled marriage. No wonder James said what he said. Confession always breeds health, and where the church body is concerned, it is the best way to make sure we don’t ever devolve to the point that moving a pastoral chair on stage causes a huge uproar.

Just in case you were wondering what you should do when you leave worship today, I think your marching orders from Christ couldn’t be clearer: Ask the Lord two pointed questions:

• One, “Lord, who has a burden you need me to help carry? Show me, and I will step up to assist.”
• Two, “Lord, what sin or sins do I need to confess? Show me, and I will come clean. I’ll make a phone call to the offended party, or I’ll set up a time to tell them to their face how wrong my words or actions were.”

A healthy church body doesn’t just happen. No, it takes the work of all the saints to be ever mindful of the fifty “one another” commands given to us by the Lord. Will you be mindful?

^[1] Benjamin Chapman, New Testament Greek Notebook (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1978), 8.

^[2] William Arndt et al., A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000), 708.

^[3] Darrell L. Bock, Acts, Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2007), 604–605.